I am a 41 year old stay-at-home-mom, widowed 11 years, and currently receive child-in-care benefits. My 12 year old also receives equal benefits. My fiancee and I share a 4 year old biological child. He and I have been contemplating marriage for quite some time. I have been researching our options, but remain unsure and confused and have received multiple inaccurate answers from our local Social Security office. From what I gathered, I realize that I will lose my benefit if we marry now. My fiancee will be 62 on the first of November and is planning on filing for his Social Security any day now. He will also file for child's benefits for our 4 year old when he files for his own. The way I understand it, once we marry, I can receive child-in-care benefits based on his record. The 1 year marriage requirement is waived because we have a biological child together. Is there a particular day of the month to get married from a Social Security standpoint? Is it possible to marry in November (or should we wait until benefits are confirmed in December) and continue to receive
the child-in-care benefit from my late husband's record, which is higher, because I am marrying a 62 year old Social Security Retirement Beneficiary (I read this somewhere, but can't find exact information on the Social Security website?) And if so, would I be able to switch to receive child-in-care benefits on my new husband's record when my older child turns 16 and my child-in-care benefit for him ends? At that point, our biological child will be 8. Where in the world do I find the exact Social Security rules that pertain to our situation so I can present the correct information when we apply for benefits? I have searched for a lawer specializing in Social Security benefit entitlements, but have only found ones who focus on disability claims. Will your software take all of these variables into account? It seems every time we have questions answered, new ones arise. We obviously don't want to make any costly mistakes at this stage in the game. Thank you for taking the time to address my seemingly unique concerns.

Hi,

Well, your situation is certainly unusual if not unique. It sounds like you have a good understanding of the rules and your benefit options, though. The reference from Social Security's operations manual confirming that your current benefits wouldn't end if you remarry someone entitled to Social Security retirement benefits is RS 00208.035 (https://secure.ssa.gov/apps10/poms.nsf/lnx/0300208035). The reference that says you could qualify for spousal benefits on your new husband's record without a waiting period based on being the mother of his biological child is RS 00202.001 (https://secure.ssa.gov/apps10/poms.nsf/lnx/0300202001), but it doesn't sound like that would be important in your case since you would likely want to continue receiving benefits on your deceased husband's record as opposed to filing on your new husband's record, at least until your deceased husband's child turns age 16. You can't receive benefits on both records at the same time, just the higher of the two. And, yes, when your benefits on your deceased husband's record terminate you could then file for child in care benefits on your new husband's record if your child with him is still under age 16 or disabled.

If your new husband turns 62 on November 1st, then he can claim benefits starting with November. And, if that's when his entitlement begins, I think you could marry in that month without losing your child in care benefits on your deceased husband's record. I haven't encountered a situation exactly like yours, though, so I'm basing what I write solely on what's stated in the Social Security operations manual. You'll need to use your own judgment with regard to how soon you remarry.

Best, Jerry