My ex husband is has been receiving SSDI payments for approx 6 years. I have custodial custody. My children were temporarily in his home for a year after my home had a fire. During that time I found out he applied for SSDI auxiliary parents for the children. They were 11,12, and our disabled 16 year old. He received payments for the children that continued AFTER they moved back home with me. My question is, my children, nor myself, have ever seen a payment? Apparently they get sent to him, at his residence and NOT to my children? I'm wondering if that's normal? We lived in a different state while he was getting benefits and was not spending any time with them so therefore, not providing ( other than child support taken from his SSDI payment) . Our oldest, now 22 is disabled and living with him until I add space for him in my new home, then he will come back with me in my care. Who will receive my disabled sons DAC payment? I'm concerned he will not give it to my son for his needs, and that he would keep the money for himself like the other children's payments. What should I do about this? Social security will not speak to me because they say my ex husband is my disabled sons representative payee? Please help!!!
Thank you.

Hi. Probably not. In almost all cases, the custodial parent is appointed as payee for benefits payable to minor children and disabled adult children who are unable to manage their own benefits. If your children's benefits were sent to your ex-spouse while they were living with you, it's likely because Social Security was unaware that you had custody. If you could go back in time, what you should have done is to apply to be appointed as the representative payee for your children when they returned to live with you.

Regarding your children's past benefits, if your ex-spouse did not use the children's benefits for their needs while they were in your care or save the benefits for them, then you should contact Social Security and ask them to investigate your ex-spouse for misuse of the children's benefits.

Also, if any of your children are still receiving benefits and if they're living with you, you should call of visit Social Security in order to apply to be appointed as their representative payee. And, although you could apply now to be appointed as the representative payee for your disabled child, Social Security probably won't select you to be his payee while he is living with his father. You may want to review following Social Security publication for more information about the representative payee program: https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10076.pdf.

Best, Jerry