My husband of 38 years passed away in 2012 - he was 56 years old. I remarried prior to the age of 60. Is my first husband's SS benefit totally lost to me. After 38 years together??? I don't understand why - no one else is entitled to this benefit.
One of the requirements for eligibility for widow's benefits is that you must be unmarried, or if you are remarried your remarriage must have occurred at age 60 or later. I've given up trying to interpret the reasoning used by Congress when they passed the various Social Security laws and amendments.
Your first husband's Social Security isn't necessarily lost to you permanently, though. If your current marriage ends in death or divorce, you could potentially claim widow's benefits on your first husband's record at that time.