My ex husband and myself lived together for 16 years even filed taxes together and had 4 children, we finally married after 16 years we divorced 9 1/2 years later. He passed away in 2014 can I qualify for benefits for as an ex I have not remarried? Also is there any exception that will include our 16 years prior to marriage as a committed family?
Hi. Well, if you have an eligible child of your ex-husband's in your care and if that child is under age 16 or is disabled, then you may be able to qualify for divorced mother's benefits (https://www.ssa.gov/OP_Home/handbook/handbook.04/handbook-0416.html).
However, to qualify for surviving divorced spousal benefits you must have been legally married to the deceased worker for at least 10 years (https://www.ssa.gov/OP_Home/handbook/handbook.04/handbook-0403.html). There aren't any exceptions that would allow you to qualify for surviving divorced spousal benefits based on a marriage that lasted for less than 10 years, so it sounds like the only way you might qualify is if your relationship prior to your formal marriage was considered to be a legal marriage under the laws of the state in which you lived. The state laws on common law marriage are summarized in the following section of Social Security's operations manual: https://secure.ssa.gov/apps10/poms.nsf/lnx/0200305075.
If you believe that you might qualify for benefits, you can always file an application with Social Security in order to get a formal determination of your eligibility.
Best, Jerry